I Hate My Railroad Train Pajamas!!

One of my favorite stories to read to my daughters when they were little was Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst.  It was one of those stories that was SO good, we (still to this day) quoted our favorite lines.

 "...It was a Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very bad day. There were lima beans for dinner, and I HATE limas. There was kissing on TV, and I HATE kissing. My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pajamas. I hate my railroad-train pajamas..."

Often, on a day when things just didn't seem to go in our favor,  I would kiss the girls and tuck them in and remind them that "...some days are like that. Even in Australia".

You'll have to read the book to get the meaning but the gist is, no matter where you live/move, there will always be tough days.

It was the best way I could think of to say to them that tomorrow was a new day.

Today was a terrible, horible, no good, very bad day.

First, I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way to an important meeting.

Then I had to drop off the dog I love dearly and had to say goodbye until next time.  (I hate saying goodbye to her).

Then, I was unable to speak effectively to someone I desperately needed to be able to, and it went worse than I ever could have imagined, in the parking lot of my important meeting.

Then I had to sit through an intake to address my problem with drinking.  As a client, not the social worker.

Then I cried all the way to my parents' house for an unannounced visit, because sometimes a girl just really needs her mom.

Then I struggled through (but finished) my lunch, choking back tears with each bite, thinking about the exchange in the parking lot this morning and how I wish what was in my head would actually come out of my mouth. 

Then, as I was getting ready to go to my DBT Skills training class, I got a call from my daughter's track coach telling me they were on the way to the ER because she had badly injured her ankle jumping a hurdle in the hallway.

Then I saw the relief in my daughter's eyes when I arrived.  A telling wash of emotion overcame her that she was saving for the comfort of ME.

Then I got to care for her the way only a Mom can, helping her breathe through the painful parts when the Dr. set her in an air cast, holding her hands and wiping her tears.

Then, I forgot all about my terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day as my daughter and I left the Emergency Room with her in tears, wondering if she would still get to leave in 10 short hours on the trip she had been planning for months to Costa Rica.

We got our favorite dinner from our favorite restaurant and (dessert too) and we ate it on the couch with her foot propped and iced, watching a favorite show.

She even held my hand.

Then I helped her to carefully go over her list of items that still needed to be gathered and packed, putting each one carefully exactly where she wanted in her suitcase, as she directed from the sofa.

When she wanted to shower, we figured out how to carefully get the job done without further injuring her still-swelling ankle.  She had to trust my strength to help get her in and out of a raised edge tub.

Getting ice one last time before bed, ibuprofen for the pain and tucking her into bed with pillows carefully propping her ankle, this child who is full of joy and rarely ever weeps, tearfully looked up at me.

Hugging her tightly I asked her if she was unsure about going on the trip in the morning.  She nodded and said, "what if I feel like this when I'm there and I need you?"

All at once the trials of the day faded, in the shadow of the thoughts:

I am a good mother.
I have a damned good mother.
I was able to stay healthy and make positive recovery choices during one of the more stressful/sad days I have had in a long time.
I received numerous calls/messages from concerned friends about my daughter.  Including from the person I failed to communicate with in the parking lot, who earlier walked away in frustration.

My daughter and I decided to table the decision about the trip  until morning.  

Because some days are like that.

Even in Australia.